Jokes for Adults – Funny, Corny, Juicy & Dirty Jokes

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Question and answer jokes are like bright jokes that are designed to make two things: make us laugh and make us hilariously smart. Here are some funny jokes to tell!

What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft?

Answer: Chewing gum.

What does one boob say to the other boob?

Answer: If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

Why do men get their great ideas in bed?

Answer: Because they’re plugged into a genius.

Why is Santa so jolly?
Answer: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend cried after sex?
“I had you pegged for someone else.”

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!

What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?

About three inches.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. “What are you doing?”, the boys asks his mother. “I’m jumping on daddy to make him thin”, said the mother. Don’t bother”, said the boy,” when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again”

What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said “I shaved my pussy, you know what that means? I said “yeah, the drain is clogged again.

Why are women like KFC? After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”.

If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs.

The only reason the term ‘Ladies first’ was invented was for the guy to check out the woman’s ass.

Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night .”
Kid 1: “As if.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”
Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”
Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”