Funny Jokes and Sexy Girls

posted in: Erotic | 0
I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds
me why there’s no money in there.
I just read the ‘100 things to do before you die’ list… I’m surprised that
‘Call 911’ didn’t make the cut.
I have a weird fetish for figuring things out. I just came to this realization.
What do you call a kid who is born in a whorehouse brothel sprout
Why don’t vampires bet on horses? They can’t handle the stakes.
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon ? The drill slipped.
If i have twin daughters, I’ll name one Katee and I’ll name the other “DUPLIKATE”
Where to pirates get their hooks? The second hand store.
My wife was disappointed to find out why my nickname in college was “THE LOVE MACHINE”. I sucked at tennis.

I call myself terms and conditions, because Y’ALL keep ignoring me.
Hear about the gay that dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts.
What do a midget and dwarf have in common? Very little.
Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like, “What the Hellman?”
In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly 74,015 trees.
I know because I kept a log