Dirty Riddles For Adults!

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1. What goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow continuously?

2. What’s the white, sticky stuff most girls like, but instead of swallows, spits out?

3. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

4. I start with a “p” and ends with “o-r-n,” and I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?

5. You find me in a guy’s pants. I’m about six inches long, I have a head, and some women love to blow me. What am I?

6. I can be dirty, I can be clean, I can be delicate, I can be rough. People sometimes shake me or smack me against my own kind. What am I?

7. When people think of me, the word “hump” comes to mind. You can find me in a woman’s pants when they’re too tight. What am I?

8. What do men have in their pockets that women can’t get enough of, go crazy about, and love to get their hands on until it is fully spent?

9. You play with it at night in bed. you’re not allowed to fiddle with it a work. Only very special people are allowed to touch it. What is it?

10, Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

11. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

12. What is that which a women gets every month and last for 3-6 days?

13. Why is divorce so expensive?

15. What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’?

16. What goes in dry and hard but comes out soft and wet?

17. What does a cow have four of that a woman only has two of?

18. What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

19. Hair above and hair below. Humid area in the middle can be opened and closed?

20. When you blow me I get bigger, and the tighter you wrap your lips around me the quicker I enlarge. What am I?

21. I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I’ll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow. What am I?

Answers:

  1. Bubble Gum.
  2. A toothpaste! Get it?
  3. Wedding Ring
  4. Popcorn
  5. A twenty dollar bill.
  6. Hands
  7. Cameltoe
  8. A wallet full of cash
  9. A smart phone.
  10. They don’t have balls to scratch!
  11. 45 minutes.
  12. Husband’s salary.
  13. Because it’s worth it.
  14. About three inches
  15. A sponge.
  16. Legs
  17. A seat belt
  18. Eyes
  19. A balloon
  20. A dentist

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